Tell us: What did you do with the LAST TRILLION???

Obama is going to speak tonight and probably ask for another 300 to 400 billion for a “jobs program”. Well, he’s not going to actually “ask” but rather, say that this is what should be done and then add that those mean Republicans in Congress will prevent this and thus, the rest of the recession is “on them”.

First of all, we don’t HAVE this money.

We borrow 42 cents of every dollar we spend at the Federal level.

That’s insane.

That’s unsustainable.

That will collapse the dollar eventually.

So, if he were actually telling the truth, he would say, “…I want to borrow or print, another 300 to 400 billion”, because that’s what’s really happening.

If I were a Republican running for President, I would jump up and demand, at the top of my lungs, that he stand before the nation like a man, and detail for us what he did with the last 787 Billion dollars that he spent (that we didn’t have either). Where is it? HOW did we spend it? On what kinds of things? Obama himself said that his “shovel ready” jobs weren’t so shovel ready. Oh really? Tell us where this money went! Where are the jobs? If it was a success, Obama ought to have many, many examples of them.

I would say we won’t vote a single dime of new money until he gives us a full accounting of the last one. It’s what any leader would do at the beginning of any meeting in which he was coming back and asking for more money. You want venture capital? You better have a good business plan. You want MORE venture capital? You better be prepared to show what you are doing and did with the money.

I think that’s fair. I don’t think that’s harsh or partisan. It’s OUR money, err, it’s our names he’s ringing up this insane debt on. Stand and deliver, pal. I keep reading what a great orator he is–get up and tell us? Where did the money go? Why will it be different this time?

That aside, if he wants to end the recession we’re in, he needs to do 2 things: Completely repeal the healthcare bill that is frightening business into sitting on cash. You rammed it down the American people’s throats out of a smoke-filled room. It’s 2000+ pages; you never read it. Nancy Pelosi ADMITTED she didn’t read it. It’s a budget buster. Businesses don’t know what their labor costs are going to be when this kicks in. Repeal it and businesses would breathe such a sigh of relief that it would be audible.

Cut spending. A LOT. Do it NOW.

These two things would send a signal to business that the government “gets” it. Then, they might take some risks. Until then? Nope.

Ultimately, our form of government has a major flaw in it. It will be our undoing unless it is fixed at the Constitutional level. Our system rewards politicians only for SPENDING MORE and never for spending less. Government will always grow, and that’s not a good thing. Spending will always grow and that’s about to destroy us. I think they called it “Bureaucratic Inertia” in my IR class in 1984: government always gets bigger–never smaller.

Since our currency is not backed by hard assets (and I’m not taking a position that is should or should not be), it is a “fiat” currency. It exists by government fiat ONLY. It has no other value other than “the government says so”. If politicians are allowed to deficit spend the stuff, AND to PRINT the stuff, then it will not end well. There has to be a hard limit tied to a verifiable metric like GDP, beyond which, the government can not spend. This must be an amendment to the US Constitution and it must be sacrosanct. Otherwise, sooner or later, it will not end well.

Don’t believe me? Your president will get on tv tonight and tell us we’re stupid if we don’t want to borrow and/or print another .4 TRILLION of the fiat dollars, so that he can spend them and tell everyone he’s a big hero. He’s already done this before.

Enjoy the game
–fog

Babe Ruth In The Papers

Click here to open the story in the Washington Post in a new window. You may have to register a username and password but it is not a big deal.

This is the photo that is currently on the front page of the Washington Post’s Sunday Metro section:

Before I go any further, let me make sure that I take time to thank the staff at the Gaylord National Hotel inWashington, DC for their tremendous professionalism and attention to every detail. These people are the standard for their industry. I have, in all honesty, never seen such elan in my life. It was a real treat. With the hotel slated to open in a few days, you could ride on the energy of these folks as they readied their jewel of a hotel.

I would also like to thank Michael Hudson of Gaylord Hotels. He is a throwback to a more civil time in America and in business. He is a true gentleman and a visionary in his field. You don’t run into too many people like him and it was my good fortune to have done so. Thanks Michael, for everything.

This is a shot someone took for me with my camera during the installation.

The Babe Ruth statue is now permanently on display at the Gaylord National Hotel & Resort in Washington, DC at the new National Harbor area.

I went down there on Tuesday and stayed until Thursday and The Babe was installed and well received. The Washington Post came by and did a story on the hotel opening and included a fair amount of interest on the statue. I was not sure how much would run on the statue but I was pleased to have folks in Washington DC call and tell me the good news.

The full story of the statue and everything surrounding it is on the Birrerart.com website:

Click here to open the Birrerart.com website up in a new window

Other things that were noteworthy while I was down there was the fact that the Nationals has declared the sportsbar in the Gaylord as the official sportsbar of the team. Because of this, they had sent over the last home plate used at RFK stadium so it could be permanently installed at the entrance to the sportsbar. Here are a few shots of that and the Washington Post getting their story at the time:

That’s Michael Hudson, Director of Brands at Gaylord Hotels, with homeplate from RFK Stadium.

And here is the laying ceremony while the PR folks take photos.

***
The Gaylord National Hotel is so immense that it is difficult to photograph it all in one frame. The atrium that overlooks the Potomac River and Old Alexandria, Virginia, on the opposite bank, is 18 stories high. There is a village of little shops and fountains and trees and restaurants all inside the enclosure. It is so big that you mostly aren’t aware that you are inside.

Here is a view of the upper part of the atrium. These gaslights are 20 feet high. The scale is just hard to fathom.

On the 24th floor, there is a state of the art nightclub and one of the unique features is, believe it or not, the men’s room. Here are the fixtures and the view is outrageous. The Washington Monument can be seen while you are, well…ahem, you know. It’s just one of a myriad of details that make this hotel one of the most amazing in the world.

You Hafta Try It

Click here to launch the Brazilian Football name generator in a new window

I got this off of one of the the blog sites.  Anyway, you plug in your name and get out your dopey Brazilian name, for instance, George Bush yields: “Georgildo”.  And it puts in on a little yellow national jersey and you can put in your number.  All in all, it’s about 2 minutes worth of work-procrastination but not for some~

In the 1970′s, when my family had season tickets to the NY Cosmos at Giants Stadium, (when mystery men were hitting pennant winning homers for the Yankees), the Cosmos had a player named “Rildo”.  We thought that was funny.

So I had sent this link to some guys and one of them was at it long enough to plug in “Ron Swaboda”.  How many names he plugged in before this is anybody’s guess.  A dozen?  More?  I mean, Ron Swaboda?  That’s random.  Anyway, he figured out that Ron Swaboda will yield “Rildo” in the name generator.  I mean, what are the odds? 

***

Rildo Menezes – Head Coach (Right)

Rildo Menezes is the Head Coach of the Bridge USA Soccer Academy, and is world renowned in his coaching ability and knowledge of socccer. Rildo was born in Brazil, and started his professional soccer career when he was a teenager, playing for Botafogo and Santos in Brazil gave him the opportunity to play for the Brazil national team, where he teamed up with Pele, for the 1966 and 1970 World Cup. Rildo played 9 years for the Brazillian national Team.

Rildo continued his career in Brazil, and in Europe and finally in the US with Pele for the New York Cosmo’s. Rildo has spent the last 30 years coaching professional soccer clubs and teams across the USA, and now coaches exclusivley for the Bridge USA Soccer Academy. With a FIFA International A class licence and his experience Children of all ages are learning a higher level of soccer to help them become the next World Cup Soccer Star for the future.

 

Career:

Former Brazilian National Team Player(played 65 games), Played World Cup in 1966 & 1970 with Pele, World Cup Champion Team Member, 5-times Brazilian Club Team Champion,

FIFA Int’l A class Coaching License.

1959: Ibis-PE
1960: Sport Recife-PE
1961-1966: Botafogo-RJ
1967-1972: Santos FC-SP

1973-1976: CEUB-DF

1977: New York Cosmos – USA

 

The Pinetar Three (Thanks for the Shirts, McBean)

In these times of Photoshop, where a skilled operator could easily put Dr. Zaius’ head on my body and make is seamless, you never know if you are looking at a real photo or a doctored one. I assure the readers that this photo is real. We really have the Pinetar shirts, his/hers/baby. They are compliments of a very silly man down in Atlanta, Georgia who likes to go by the name McBean. I don’t know what I like better, the gags or the 2nd row, behind-the-plate seats to the Red Sox (or Dodgers this year?). He’s a true old friend. In high school, we worked many jobs together; cleaning toilets, painting etc. Scarily, he can recite the lines to “Battle of the Planet of the Apes” almost verbatim and while doing it, he’ll crack himself up at the same time, perhaps out of embarrassment? One of the last times I was down at his house in Atlanta, we made deep fried twinkies. I have proof:

And yes, that’s a Norman (Chubby) Chainey t-shirt I’m wearing. Another of his creations. If you are goint to eat like Chainey, you need to honor him. Chubby would have like the twinkies.

***

Bonds game on: Already I have heard Charles Barkley on the radio being interviewed re Bonds and already he has played the race card FOR Barry Bonds. Has anyone heard of Martha Stewart? (Would it matter if they had?).

My initial thoughts on this were that if the feds take 4 years aim at you, you have nowhere to hide (cue the Barretta theme song), but now I think that Bonds and his attorneys will remain defiant and sling mud at MLB and the US DOJ, playing the race card and any other card they can play. The facts, as I understand them are this: Bonds took roids. He admitted to taking the roids. He DIDN’T admit to KNOWING they were roids. To prove perjury, they have to get inside his head and prove that a reasonable person would have KNOWN that they were taking roids all along and that to say he didn’t know would be a lie. As we have seen in the OJ case, even facts that cry out for common sense can be obfuscated to dopey jurors with racial agendas, pretty easily by lawyers. If they got the right people on the jury, they might be able to convince them that a priest doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s consecrating the host in The Mass. In other words, it ain’t all about common sense. Put your political G-Suit on and get ready for all-Barry, all the time, particularly if it is a slow news day.

I would venture that within about 6 months, you’ll “know” more than you ever dreamed about Barry Lamar Bonds. Question is, “who will play Kato?”.

***

Babe Ruth statue goes on despite a wicked cold and sore throat I’ve picked up after having a flu shot at work. I’m never getting the flu shot again. I don’t think they do a damn thing and in this case, I think they pushed me over the edge into this thing I have now. Now I have to spend hours with my stuffy face in a mask that’s uncomfortable at best on a good day.

The statue is coming along and I’m excited about it. I just had a nice talk with the buyer and we are on track to get this thing installed when the Gaylord opens in January.

Grand Ole Babe Ruth

I’m back after a pause of several months.  As I explained in my last comment, I was curtailing the blogging activities in favor or regaining some kind of time/impulse management for my life.  A lot has gone on in the past few months and many have written emails to me ask why I’m not commenting and what do I think of this and/or that?  I’ll try and cover the basics and also try to post at least 3 things per week, so those who got out of the habit of coming here, may want to swing by now and again.

The Tommy Show: Going strong and now in its 4th sold out month.  Tommy is getting bigger and smiling and laughing and grabbing things.  He looks around.  He likes to do the “assisted sit up” and he makes faces.  We love him.  He’ll be rolling over any day now.  And, he still has the long arms.

The Babe Ruth Statue: (This is one big reason I’m no longer posting) is sold.  I have a tentative agreement at this point to complete and deliver The Babe to the Gaylord National on the Potomac, Hotel in Washington DC by Jan 1.  This is the reason that I spend every night at my “second job” and get full of sawdust until midnight or 1am, if things are going well.

The photo above is from last Feb, about the time that I had halted work on him to coach 8U baseball with my nephew (and write this blog–but since the blog is apparently how the folks at the Gaylord found me, my lack of impulse control paid off in this case).   My point is, the statue is well beyond this point and per our discussions, I have concentrated on the head so that I can get that finished and send some photos down to the buyer so they know better what they are acquiring.   To that end, the head is 80% finished and it looks like a disembodied Babe Ruth head–a ringer.  And a bit unnerving due to the realism.  Already, it has freaked out Mrs. Pinetar and grandma.  Tommy doesn’t seem to register it yet.  In a week or two, I should have some shots of it fully painted and looking like The Babe.  I should also have some better progress shots up soon.  Stay tuned.  We’re excited and the further into this I get, the more convinced I become that The Gaylord Hotel folks are going to be floored by the finished Babe.  This thing will be turning heads for a long time.

A word about the Gaylord properties.  Click here to launch their site in a new window 

I had not heard of them prior to their contacting me.  Their original property is the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville, or, Opryland.  This is a major, signature property in Americana.  Now I know that most of my readers are NorthEasterners who know nothing of country music, but trust me, this is baseball, hotdogs, apple pie and American music all rolled up into one.  They also have top shelf, first cabin properties in Dallas and Kissimmee, FL.  The newest property is the DC property and the hotel has 5 or 6 restaurants, one of which, is the sports bar in which The Babe will reside.  I’m excited to see it.  I’m also excited about the Nationals opening their brand new ballpark next April.

Which brings me to the next topic.  The Mets.  Most thought I was despondent when they lost in spectacular fashion.  Truth?  I was not bothered at all.  The older I get, the more I watch baseball for individual and team stories.  I do not just root for one team.  That worked great up until 1986 and then as I got older and realized the business side of it and what was really happening, it became less and less important to me that the Mets “win”.

I’m also annoyed at how the team is run.  I don’t feel any connection to the Mets of my youth.  When I go to the game at Shea with my 8 year old nephew, I am afraid of where they are going to park me (mostly a riddle inside a puzzle), annoyed at the $14 parking charge.  Then, when I get into my seats, the PA system literally deafens me.  I can’t even speak to my nephew in the seat next to me because the jackass marketing wizards at Los Mets think that I paid $75.00 to hear 25 year old Bachman Turner Overdrive music blared at pain-threshold levels.  After that, the Mets usually put on some type of Spanish-themed dance or musical act (also ear-splittingly loud), to the point where, I feel like I might be in Puerto Rico or the Caribbean.  Now I have many Hispanic friends, and I’m not prejudiced at all, but going to Shea now makes me feel like I’m in a foreign country.

And the players now dance, seemingly after every base hit.  I don’t want my little Tommy thinking that celebrating after every play is ok: It isn’t.  It’s unprofessional and it shows up the other team.  It is insecure.  It says to the world, “I’m so insecure, that I have to try and remind you that I just succeeded”.  To me, there is nothing cooler than just doing the bit on the field and letting the crowd cheer.  To do anything else is to be an a**.  But Los Mets would rather dance, at times, it seems, than play.  And don’t think the other teams and especially the umps, see this.  Think you saw the Mets get a lot of close calls down the stretch?  Hmm?  I saw them get jobbed.  I don’t blame the umps.

And now I hear that the Mets are looking at getting  A-Rod.  Nothing more needs to be said.  I’m not surprised.  He has no class and the Mets are long devoid of class.  He’s probably taking the dancing lessons from Reyes right now.

The Mets are also spending 120 million.  That’s the most in the NL, kiddies.  I don’t want to root for dopey Fred and Jeff Wilpon’s real estate wallet.  Face it, most of what people think of as pro sports is rooting for a non-sporting, rich (nothing wrong with being rich) guy’s wallet.  Kids might-as-well be on the playground taunting each other, “…my owner’s got more assets than YOUR owner…” Because that’s what it comes down to.  That’s why I like to see new stories each year.  Stories like the Rockies and Tulo and Braun and Fausto.  Great stuff.  And Cleveland.  Haven’t won since 1948 when they had the last, good, player manager in Lou Boudreau.  That’s exciting.  That’s fun.  Not the Yankees spending 220 million every year and pummeling everyone.  That’s pro wrestling.  That’s the Harlem Globetrotters. 

I’m this close to being a Washington Nationals fan.  Long live Joel Hanrahan!

Many asked me about Torre.  He turned down a LOT of money.  I never understood why the Yankees overpay for the manager.  The job is unique in all the world.  Geez, take a micro economics course.  The people who do that job are fetted by kings and emporers.  Why would you OVER pay a guy to hang out with McCartney and Rudi and get a table at LeCirque just for walking in the door?  All the endorsements and perks?  My goodness.  Why do they pay Joe Torre 7 million when the next highest paid guy is 2.5 or 3 million?  Collossal stupidity.  Joe should pay THEM to have that job.

And get this straight.  I don’t think Joe Torre is all that.  Look kids, he wasn’t Miller Huggins with the Mets and Braves.  Repeat after me Yankee fans: He managed the largest payroll in MLB EVERY SINGLE YEAR HE WAS THERE, with the exception of 1997, when Baltimore edged the Yanks by like a million or so.  I think 72 million to 71.  He ALWAYS had the highest payroll in the industry.  Winning with the 1996 Yanks doesn’t make you Houdini.  You SHOULD win with all that talent.  His biggest skill, for my money, was having the thick skin to take all of George’s insults and degradations over the years.  But George was stupid enough to pay him f***-you money and eventually, he had enough money to be the first guy to tell Big Stein, “Shove it”.

And that’s the beauty of Joe Torre (and old New York baseball Giants fan btw).  He was the only guy to tell George, “I’m not your boy…” and for that we love him.  And now that he has taken Mattingly out of moneystripes, I mean, pinstripes, and put him in the NL, in Dodger Blue, I love him even more.  Go Joe!  Win it all!  Ethier, Kemp, Loney, Broxton, Saito, Martin, Penny…win it all and laugh all the way to the bank that George has missed the playoffs without you! hoo hooo.

Last point that has been driving me buggy.  During the world series, when I was carving the Babe Ruth head hour after hour.  I kept seeing this advertisement on TV about how people wanted their cars to be more “green”.  They said that they wanted to “plug their car in” and have the car’s fuel “grown”.

Because the media is being completely slanted politically on this, people are being misinformed.  And now the car companies and oil companies are reinforcing the myths surrounding the hybrids and “green” fuels.  And folks like Al Gore are either too stupid (I know, a guy who invented the internet?) or just too calculating to set the record straight, so people continue to be misled.

While it’s admirable to drive a smaller car and look to curtail personal fossil fuel consumption, one glaring thing is missing.  Many folks think that is something is electrical, it is somehow non-polluting.  That’s nonsense.  It doesn’t pollute locally, where the machine is being run, but somewhere, to be sure, there is a coal or oil, or gas-fired generating plant that BURNS FOSSIL FUELS and converts the chemical energy stored in the fossil fuels to mechanical energy that turns dynamos to generate electricity.  ANYtime you are using electricity that didn’t come from a solar cell or a hydro plant, you are burning fossil fuels, genius!  The actual carbon emissions might be in Oshkosh, but they are there.

And we’re not done yet.  Anytime that you convert energy from one source to another form, you LOSE in the conversion.  Add to that they electrical engines are less efficient than gas, and what you have is that the “green” person is actually burning MORE fossil fuels than if he had a traditional, gasoline engine.  Now that doesn’t figure in the disparity between the huge SUV and the little hybrid and I get that, but how many people really understand, or are being told, what lays behind the phrase, “plug my car in”? 

Rob Styles: In Cahoots with Chelski

Click here to read original story

 

 

[I love the reactions. Carragher wigs out while Gerrard just has that look that sort of says, "...you ******"]

 

I love this stuff. Only the Brits could get this INTO a story. And, well, it does have a potential whiff of something, I suppose.

Wabbit Season. Duck Season. A-Rod Season.

Hard to post with Tommy now so you do what you can. Emailing Cincinnati Bill on the game he attended last night at Cincy and the hotdogs I consumed last time there reminded me of a story from another game in Philly: Story: We are leaving Citizen’s bank park in Philly and Kranepooligans and I hit the men’s room before the long drive home. On the way into the men’s room, there was a slight line. A guy put a big tote of hotdogs next to the line by the door and said, “free hotdogs”. I did not take one but I p’d next to many men who had their ****s in one hand and a frank in the other, happily chomping away at the “free”, old, raggety dogs….mmmmm…ambiance.

Chipper Jones has opened the season on A-Rod by being the first fairly credible guy (Canseco has said some ominous things) to speculate that A-Rod may break the record but get ready for the same speculation as to his “legitimacy” as well. I agree. He played in the rampant era of only a few years ago and as far as I’m concerned, once you take HGH, you are forever tainted, because your body fundamentally changes after that. I’m NOT SAYING that I know anything or that he did anything; just that the speculation will be increasing and it has to be entertained on he and really, all others. What they’re doing is superhuman so you wonder. That’s all.

Tony LaRussa is batting the pitcher 8th. Hooray! I agree, Tone. I used to do it in Strat-O-Matic and I used to do it in Earl Weaver Baseball. Of course in Earl Weaver, I was batting Christy Mathewson 8th and Frank Frisch 9th. It makes for an around-the-corner lineup. The first time through, the cleanup hitter is cleanup. Subsequently, there is another good hitter in front of the #3 hitter, who is really your team’s best hitter, power and average considered. Leadoff is over rated. The leadoff hitter is only guaranteed to hit leadoff, ONCE per game.

The difference between 8th and 9th isn’t going to amount to anything: perhaps a handful of AB’s lost per season. And in later innings, in the NATIONAL LEAGUE (real baseball), you are typically hitting for the pitcher after 6 anyhow. So for 2 or 3 cycles, you are putting a better hitter in front of your lineup meat. What’s wrong with that? Baseball is amazing in the stodginess and slowness to deal with new ideas. It has taken baseball 125 years to start playing the 2nd baseman in the outfield with no one on base. WHY? It makes too much sense? Look at Moneyball. Moneyball threatens so much of the baseball hokum that most just curse it rather than realize that it is sound. You know, it’s funny, because we laugh at ancient civilazations for doing dopey things like blaming the weather on the “gods” and throwing young girls into the volcano to “appease” the “gods”, but really, for many things today there is as much hooey as ever. Look at Al Gore. He won the popular vote for US Pres and he is mad as a hatter with the dopey, anti-West, anti-USA global warming nonsense that has more holes in it than Carlos DelGado’s swing. We are not immune to dopiness, is my point. Good job Tony LaRussa on the pitcher in the 8 hole. Wow. Long way around on that one, eh?

Luis Castillo was a great pickup for the Mets. The more I see of this man, the more I like. This guy has an IDEA out there. This man is a PRO. And maybe I can forget Jose Valentin, who looks like Snidely Whiplash of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show. It has passed Valentin by mostly, and it was clear in the playoffs last year. Go Luis.

(Whiplash)

Great piece on some breathtaking “news creation” by the liberal, hate-Bush, hate-America media. Have a look. It is blatant. It is unabashed. It is sad. It is happening all the time. Click here to read

A Big, Flying Gas Can Full Of Smoking Germans

 

I hate to pluck stuff off of Drudge but this one, I couldn’t resist. The Germans are looking to launch a smoking-friendly airline~! What’s German for ‘Whooo ahhhhhh…? I’m sure that no vegetables will be served on that flight.

And you never know what the Germans will latch onto. A few years ago, my brother was in Germany and saw Hogan’s Heroes dubbed into German. I know–who knew? He also brought along an old game of “Trouble”, you know, the one with the pop-a-matic?

They LOVED it! They played it so much, that my brother left it there for them and there they were, all hunched over the Pop-A-Matic, sending each other back. –fog

The Tommy Show! Starring: Tommy!

 

Here we are going to the hospital at about 2:30am. She had the breakage at 12:30am and there was some discussion as to whether we could sleep on it and then go, or head in. The phone call quickly cleared that up: We had to go in. Once that happens, they want the show on the road. We were calm enough to drag our feet over and hour and take this photo on the way out the door. I wore my Nixon Library shirt for luck. Mrs. Pinetar is feeling good and not having any contractions and is quite calm.

This is right after Tommy is cleaned up and Mrs. Pinetar as well. She’s probably had him on her for all of a minute and a half at this point. He was born at 3pm and right here it’s about 3:10pm. We are both really not believing what a neat little guy we’re holding here. What a privilege!

For the record, we checked in at 3:00am and at 7am, they had induced her somewhat with a drug so traditional labor was marked at 7am. Pushing began at 1:25pm and the winning run was plated at 3:00pm on the button.

And here’s the man that causes all the trouble, Tommy. This was taken a day later when he’s about 22 hours old (kind of like El Duque).

Also at 22 hours and below, Mom and Tom, at 22 hours.

Below is one of the few, specific hopes that I had for my little guy, besides just overall health. In the photo here, you can see that Mrs. Pinetar has really long hands and fingers. I have little, stuby, Fred Flintstone fingers. If I had a boy, I was hoping that he would get “the hands”, so that if he ever pitched a baseball, he’d have a chance to throw a nice overhand slider or split fingered fastball, pitches that I can only dream of with my little fingers.

Anyway, check this out:

Nice and long! So I’d say, he has “the hands”.

But there will be no undue pressure on him to do anything. If he wants to be a Curling star, then we’ll be up early and out at the rink. I’m just happy to have him around. We’re both thrilled and feel very blessed and lucky to have had such a smooth ride and people have been very nice to us all the way through. We thank God. Take that, ACLU! –fog

Just for the record, here’s the old man, tearing up the sheet at the Jaques Cartier Curling Club in Quebec City, Quebec.  Oui.

Ants Will Not Cross A Chalk Line

Mrs. Pinetar hates bugs. Any bugs. Now I’m not thinking I want them in my house, but I realize that we share the world with these things and you will end up seeing them from time to time. So recently, we have ants coming in the house. Big carpenter ants. One here or there, nothing big really. But Mrs. Pinetar can’t stand them.

So she puts a chalk line down on the doorjams. Because apparently, “Ants will not cross a chalk line”. Period. They are incapable. No one knows why! Could be a good PHD thesis in there somewhere. Why don’t these little industrious ba*tards cross chalk?

I was just walking through the chalk at first and then I got yelled at. I didn’t notice it. But the ants did. Apparently, they are polite and actually use the door areas to enter the dwelling and that’s right where Mrs. Pinetar has the chalk down. So I keep hearing the “Ants will not cross…” line and I finally I google and wikipedia the daylights out of it and it’s a widely held belief! Also, it is pretty well held that ants can’t stand the smell of Peppermint and they are killed outright by baking soda. Another entry said that you can kill a fire ant nest by pouring 3 gallons of boiling water on it. Think of that. What geniuses! The scale there says that ants can’t stand a boiling lake of liquid raining down their hole. Could you? Could Bin Laden?

What about the Champagne region of France? The soil is notoriously chalky. Do they have no ants there because the ants just can’t get around? The White Cliffs of Dover are chalk, no? Ants? Guess not. It may work because I actually haven’t seen a single ant since the “Edict of Chalk”. And if you have an ant farm, do those guys actually grow anything?

***

Chris Carpenter throwing BP the other day and more recently threw his curve for the first time. Unsure if it was off of “flat ground”. Pavano swears by the flat ground. Carps was my second overall pick in fantasy in a big bet on starting pitching. Oswalt was number one. Oswalt’s WHIP is nearly a buck forty. League average is 1.37 so any day now, I’m expecting to hear of “stiffness” in Oswalt’s bulldozing-driving shoulder. If was the Yankees, I’d just BUY Johan Santana and Carlos Zambrano and be off.

Incidentally Yankee fans, how’s that cash plan working? The one where you spend way north of 200 million dollars? A game under .500 as we speak?! Oof!

And Ozzie Guillen, as I predicted in this space, preseason, is on the bubble and may get “done” any day now. If Ozzie goes, you can almost HEAR the ground under Torre get softer…hoohohohohoooo…

*** As promised, I will outline my plan to make XM sat radio’s traffic actually something I can use. Guys, Phoenix has it’s own traffic channel! What for? I’ll do the traffic for Phoenix for the next 10 years: I-10 is jammed. Done. That’s it!

New York City, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Long Island have 1 lousy, raggety-a** channel! That’s about 50 Phoenix areas in headcount and roads and pi**ed off guys who pay money to hear a dedicated traffic channel on XM in New York and end up flipping on the free stuff: 88AM on the eights and 1010 WINS on the 1′s. Even Bloomberg on the 5′s. They have better traffic. You s**k XM.

Here’s what you need to do. Make 4 channels for the NY-Metro area. Lose Phoenix and the Spanish Language soap opera channel and a few of the dopey hip-hop channels. There ain’t enough Zeppelin anyway. What are there? 3 Classic rock stations?

That’s right, 4 NY channels.

(1) Manhattan and River Crossings

(2) Westchester and Connecticut

(3) Long Island

(4) New Jersey

There you go, geniuses. And realize that if someone is in Westchester, they need to know about the Tappan Zee Bridge (the forgotten bridge of NY traffic) the GWB, the Tri-Boro, the White Stone and the Throgs Neck. Did I miss any? And the Cross Bronx should be mentioned, good or bad, every minute and a half!

And don’t put ADS on the f****ng traffic channel. I don’t want to sit in my car and wait out the f****n Zocor spots while waiting to take the Tappan Zee or risk the XBronx to George Washington. I need it NOW. Don’t make me wait. And don’t introduce it. I know WTF I’m listening to and swearing at. Just info. Info. Info. Don’t sell me anything.

And instead of telling me every minute who the traffic is brought to me by, try UPDATING IT! When I’m blowing down the Cross Bronx doing and unheard-of 55mph, don’t be telling me about the jam that’s obviously not there anymore! 

And lose the goofy color scheme, would you?  I’ve never ever heard it green, ok?  When it’s red, I don’t care about red, I just want to know where the tractor-trailer, chemical spill is before I’m driving into the jam!  It’s always yellow.  97% of the time it’s f****n yellow.  The jam alert in NY, is yellow.  Oh f***n boy.  That’s too much information.  Slow down, I can’t process it fast enough.

You could easily cut 1 minute and a half out of the loop and lose no information whatsoever.  Maybe then, I could use it and wouldn’t have to listen to WINS or CBS.  At CBS, Dan Rather can type up and xerox the jams 20 times before XM has anything on it.

–fog