I finally did it. I finally went down to the bubble and paid my $15 to play open football. They divide the bubble up into 4 fields and try to play 7-a-sides. 2 hours. I figured that I could keep up since last year when Ciro and I stopped and in and saw some pretty beefy guys doing ok. “I could get out there”, I said to him. So at age 42, I figured I have to try this one last time. After all, a guy I work with is playing in an over-40 league and well, why not?
A big part of my workout regimen while not eating Hershey bars, is to kick the ball off the LaCrosse wall in town for 45 minutes. I’ve been doing that off and on for 2 years now, so I feel like I have the touch and am fully 2-footed. So, why not?
Well, I get there and get thrown on a team with some nice guys who have Eastern European accents, every one of them. I’m maybe the oldest guy there, but it doesn’t look too bad. We start.
I figure that my first touch will be watched by the old hands and depending on how I handle the ball, that will determine whether they want to pass it to me later on. I flub my lines. Immediately, I notice, I’m not a part of the passing network. Ok, fine, I get it, that’s how it works. I haven’t played with people and at this speed, since 1999. I’m nervous to boot, because I know that my first touch is the big audition. Of course. So I deal with it. I’ll get my touches on balls I win and the occassional accident.
Almost immediately, I am winded. I’m not in real good running shape and I knew that, so I am trying to deal with it. I have no business playing up and even if I was welcome to do so, I would not have the wind to get back and play any defense, so that’s out, because the last thing you want to do is blow off defense with new guys when you are the weakest link and have no wind. So back I stay. I’m not really defensive minded, but I do my best.
About 7 minutes into it, I realize that this game is much faster than (a) I remember and (b) it looked from the sides last Winter when Ciro and I checked out the bubble. The skills on the 14 guys in my game are just about all above me. Great. I figured I’d be better than one or two older, duffer guys. No, I AM the older duffer dude now.
The rest of game 1 was just me trying to find places to get out of the action and get a blow. If I did too much, and it didn’t take much, I spent all my wind and without wind, you have no skills. So it was just an excercise in conservation and not exposing myself. I did pretty well at that and a lot of it was luck. I kept waiting for the other team to figure out that the left back was shite and that EVERYthing should come down the right side. The stuff of nightmares. And it didn’t happen. Why? Not sure. Guys who can ball-handle have very definite ideas about how they want to go about it and it didn’t include that tack. Maybe they didn’t respect the footy skills of the guys up my side, I coudn’t tell.
After you have initially been assessed as a kicker, they mentally write you off, as I said. And that inevitably leads to a reversal, the first time you do something with a touch that they don’t count on. For me, I got the ball in some space just over the midline, and took about 7 steps toward goal with the ball and let fly with a left footed shot that was hard and just off the goal. I think that surprised some. It surprised me because I’m right footed and the idea that I could hit a moving ball that hard and accurate lefty, was nice. A little confidence came back to me. I also thought, “…if I had that ball on my right foot, they would have really seen something.” But no one knows you are two-footed, in fact, they don’t think you can play at all.
Not only was I surprised by the speed of the game, I was very annoyed with my touch. I didn’t have any. I am so used to hitting balls at the wall, where you have to spank it to get it back with any pace, that all my passes were WAY too hard. It was embarrassing. But as time goes on and you settle down, you get a little better, but still, I had very little touch.
I was pleased by the overall sense of decorum that everyone had. Everyone respected everyone, no matter their footy level and fouls were self-policed and there was none of the testosterone-fuled rockheadedness, that you can see often in softball. A guy miss-hit a shot and it went past my head–hard. He apologized. I wasn’t looking for any apology but it was nice. You play long enough, you will get the occassional ball to the face. At one point, the keeper was down and out of the play and there I am in the goal–I decided to put my hands in front of my boys and face the music. Mercifully, the ball went past me and in. I heard some guys laughing at my “cover-up” but hey, that’s not what I was there for. And all in all, I only saw one or two really clear cut late hacks all night, and nothing near a yellow.
After a while, the yellow team was moved over to another field to play a different team. Half-time I guess. The other guys were clearly Spanish and some of them were pretty heavy. “Good”, I thought, “maybe these guys are more my speed”. Wrong. These fat kids could *&^%n MOVE! And they could play some football. NO respite. And soon, I’m thinking thoughts of, “…when does 11pm get here?”. So that’s not a good sign–it’s down to survival. And since the beginning, my left hip is hurting. The muscle or tendon that you use to raise your leg, right where your leg joins your torso is hurting. It has something to do with my bulging disc, which can bother me at times and affect the function of my left leg.
I did finally get a ball on my right foot that I shot, low and hard through traffic, that the goalie saved. And I also did a few things well in that passing-wise, so it wasn’t all bad. Getting a shot on goal was a moral victory. So many players with really big skills would end their runs with stupid, hard but HIGH shots over the pipes. WHY? You HAVE to keep the ball below the bar or it’s a waste of EVERYone’s efforts. But you saw it all night. So I took pride in hitting my shot low and hard and on the pipes, that wasn’t as common as you might think.
All in all, I lacked two things: wind and experience/confidence. Without wind, you don’t have any reserves to run off the ball into space and be a part of the attack. You also don’t have skills as skills decrease in direct inverse proportion to how winded you are. So you might be a breathtaking skill guy (not that I am–I’m not) but if you’re winded, you are just a kicker.
The other thing I lacked was the confidence, over the ball to take that extra beat and look around and maybe keep the ball a little longer. Many of my bad passes were panic moves, where I just looked to get rid of it and yet I wasn’t in total imminent danger at the moment. I had more time than I thought. Confidence it big. It means you’ll look around longer for something to develop and you won’t make the bad, panic pass to the wrong guy or over the touch line.
What’s the remedy for both? Well, get into doubly good shape than I am in now and keep going back doggedly until some confidence builds. Do I want to do that? Unsure. Probably not but we’ll see how I feel. I would think it would be an amazing way to stay in shape all winter, but can my knees take it?
After about the 75 minute mark, the timekeeper had us moving to another field. I had played 75 minutes and could feel that I was pressing my luck. I wasn’t enjoying it, if I ever was and I made a decision that I wouldn’t have been smart enough to make only a few years ago–I walked out. Knowing when to quit is big. I played long enough to break the shame-barrier, so I left.
And it was amazing how stiff I got IMMEDIATELY after stopping. It was like my whole body went, “…whoooaaaa”. By the time I had gone 100 feet to the car, I was walking like Fred Sanford. My hip thingy was killing me. I wondered how the hell I did it at all!? I KNEW I was never doing it again. But that was last night and now I’m not so sure. We’ll see.




