Salad-Dodger

This is major league reliever Bobby Jenks of the Chicago Whitesox.  The red Spezio beard was for a Mother’s Day Breast Cancer deal I think so you can discount the goofiness of that.  But you can’t get past the sheer girth of the man.  My goodness.  I’d like to see Larry F. Bowa TRY and turn over a clubhouse spread in front of that man.

And I know it’s just gum; I know it.  But that gum sure does make you think “tooth”, and that just makes it worse, doesn’t it?  You know how a lot of sports guys think they are going to be in the movies?  Vinny Jones, Eric Cantona, Beckham etc?  You know this guy has a career as the big doofus sherriff of Starkeville, Mississippi.  I mean, it’s right out of central casting.  It’s too easy.

And what’s with the tat on the INSIDE of the arm.  That’s a tat that says, “…while I’m a bad enough dood to get the tat; I ain’t bad enough to really put it out there.”  The whole look?  Well, that just says that, “…I shop at Walmart in bulk and I supersize.

Dave Wells?  Cecil Fielder?  Sabbathia?  Terry Forster?  Wilbur Wood?  Mickey Lolich?  Fatso Fogerty?  They are ametuers.  They have nothing on this guy.